Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
