He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
