Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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