I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
