Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
