Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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