That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
