the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
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