Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
