We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
