his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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