Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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