ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
