I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Enjoy the penises
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
