So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
