you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
are you so shy because you have an std?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
