Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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