You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
