would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
