Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
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he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
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New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
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