drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
The struggles of a small town man whore
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize