Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
