You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
