we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
