yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So vagazzling was a success
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I need to align my fucking chakras
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
