i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
