Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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