Have you finally orgasmed yet?
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Randomize
