My underwear smells like fireworks.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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