Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
