I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
