Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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