Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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