They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
