You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
