It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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