Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
