I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
