just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize