You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
