Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
