if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
