You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
how does that bad decision feel?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
