Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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