I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize