I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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