and she was petting her beer can
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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