wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
