question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
