those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
