A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hope mine doesn't look like that
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
