You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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