Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
