Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
