About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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