There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
