Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
