Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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