I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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