id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize