end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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