we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
