I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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