It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
